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...what an awesome read Alissa...and a great lesson...trying to be someone else's change is a losing proposition...it has to come from within...i wonder what the impetus was for these tropes at their time...i wonder how much we gain and lose in seeing ourselves so often in our entertainment...so many positives and negatives in the daydreams...i can't think back on my youthful romances without starting, winding, or ending up on some error in the cloud of nostalgia...appreciate you revealing and unmasking the beast here...

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I love the questions you pose here, CansaFis, especially about losing ourselves in entertainment's narratives. So much more to explore. Thank you for reading it and leaving a comment.

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Beautiful! "Enough time to build a life" What a line. Falling in love w/ potential. Some great themes in here.

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Thanks so much, Matthew.

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founding

Alissa, what a treat that you arrived in my inbox today with such an insightful and delightful piece.

You had me at the first sentence - being a lingerer and I loved the journey into your beautiful and vulnerable heart as you wrestled with ending the relationship while being hooked on the false possibility of transforming someone. Only they can transform themselves, right?

“Bled out” and “Bell tolling”. So genius, Alissa.

And this: “There’s a practicality in age, when true romance becomes more about the person who can articulate feelings, regulate emotions, talk to friends, wash the dishes, cook a meal. Short and long-term relationships are filled with small shifts, changes, encouragements, but those aren’t the things of story, they’re not the crises we crave in a novel or a movie.”

Remember to send me an invite to the book signing, as well as the after-party. 😁

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James! It's so good to hear from you. Thank you for reading, and as always, for letting me know what you enjoyed. I actually thought about your metaphor of the Sea of Galilee at one point as I was writing this. Those life-sustaining--thriving!-- waters, and those that refuse to give life. ❤️

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founding

Alissa, I'm working on a piece right now on Love at First Sight (actually, it's beyond that, but that's sort of the point I'll be making), and this piece of yours not only contributed to me but also to the piece. Thank you!

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May 14·edited May 14Liked by Alissa Mears

Alissa, this piece was such an amazing read, I'm captivated by your writing!!

This line was so good: "I was both its beneficiary and the demigod who believed she could eventually stop it." And your part about practicality in age being about "articulate feelings, regulate emotions, talk to friends, wash the dishes, cook a meal" oooph soo great

Glad you got around to writing it, it needed to be written by you :)

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I'm so glad you offered early encouragement, Vijay. I realize it didn't go entirely in the direction we discussed, but that lively conversation was a highlight for me of this cohort!

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Powerful and clarifying, thank you. I already know I'll be carrying: "sympathy born of arrogance", the 3 contradictory components of a transformation romance, and awareness of this type of Beast

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